Thoughts on marriage on our 9th wedding anniversary

The very first thing I said to Gabe on the morning of our anniversary this week?

“At this time nine years ago you picked me up from my dorm for the last time.”

Couple of hours later at 5:45PM?

“Were we married yet nine years ago?”

I love, I mean, I LOVE, looking back at that weekend of love-filled chaos.

We had commencement on Friday, graduated college on Saturday, and got married on Sunday. And in the days leading up to that weekend, we took finals AND moved all of our meager belonging (and by meager, I mean our individual suitcases of clothing and an ottoman) into our first home in Boone.

Honestly, thinking of that week now makes me exhausted.

Fast-forward to our anniversary this week and as I replay our wedding day, I can’t tell you the details of the decor. I can’t tell you about the speeches made, or about my nerves walking down the aisle. But I can tell you about leaving the party together, as husband and wife. The rush of JOY and anticipation about the fact that after years together, we were finally husband and wife.

I was sharing with a coworker recently about the phrase “for better or for worse…through sickness and in health” and how when you make those vows you mean them, but you don’t really know what they mean until you go through a period of sickness or difficulty.

When asked about the hardest year of marriage so far, year seven comes to mind.

Not so much because of each other, but because of the circumstances we, and especially I, physically experienced that year as we navigated infertility, a foot fracture, and a never-ending work schedule. In ways that he hadn’t had to before, Gabe had to physically and emotionally support me. Trips to the bathroom, helping me shower and walk around the house. He was the embodiment of “for better or worse…through sickness and in health” during one of the hardest years in our marriage.

Gabe is my best pal. He’s the one I want to share the good and the bad with, the one who knows me, the real me, and who can make me laugh deeper than anyone else.

When I look back at the last nine years, I feel so grateful for the choices I made and the doors the Lord opened that led me to him.

And now, as I look at what’s ahead, there’s no one else I would rather face foster parenting with than Gabe. He’s pure sugar and humor-filled, which is what I’ll need when the days are long and stress is high.

Did I think year nine would be celebrated with cookies from App Cookie Co. alongside our foster class? Not at all.

Would I have wanted it another way? Absolutely not.

Every year of our marriage has been so different, and as we step into this next year, I am so pumped that I get to do it alongside my best pal. The guy who makes me a better human, and soon, a better foster momma.

So my thoughts on marriage?

Marry the person who makes you laugh deeply, who brings you closer to Christ, and who you know in the depths of your heart won’t only support you through the “better” and “health” of your vows, but stick by your side through the “worse” and “sickness.” Why? Because marriage is hard and not rainbows and butterflies. It’s filled with seasons of rain and unexpected losses and pain. It’s a daily choice and it’s worth it, so worth it.

Here’s to the end of year nine and the start of 10, my Bubs. You are everything I ever wanted and a little more.